August 29, 2009

I am not sure where to begin or if I can even do justice to my thoughts and feelings about the past week and a half. I guess I will say that life is, without a doubt, full of twists, turns and plenty of dead ends that you were not expecting. At these dead ends it seems best to stop, re-evaluate and then decide your best course of action or direction.
I swore in as a United States Peace Corps volunteer on Wednesday, August 19, 2009. The ceremony moved along fairly quickly with no major African disasters (except the inevitable rain). The U.S. Ambassador and the Country Director slipped out quickly and left us to celebrate. Our group, decided to spend some time at Chez Pierre, spending the last money that he will be getting from trainees for a long time. We then moved to the Hotel Cristal where we partied till the wee hours of the morning. Superlatives were given, with me taking three in all. I am sure no one will be surprised by what they were: Most likely to be broke in 3 months, Most likely to have the most visitors and Most likely to receive the most packages during service. As you can see, it did not take the other volunteers very long to get to know me.
Stanson, Gloria, Kristin and I left the next morning for the North West. The plan was to spend the night at the case in Bamenda and then go on to post from there. In previous blogs I have described traveling in Cameroon, as stated earlier, it is almost always packed and quite uncomfortable. We all were extremely anxious about how on earth we were going to get to post with our luggage, bike, trunk, and water filter. Luckily, Peace Corps rented the bush taxis for us so there was plenty of room for us and all of our stuff. Just outside of Bafoussam I saw the most horrid thing that I have ever seen in my 26 years of life. A man had been burnt to death. He was laying face down on the ground with his arms tied behind his back. The scene was so fresh that the ashes were still smoking. We guessed that he must have been a thief. Mob justice in Cameroon is no joke and something that I hope to never see again. We arrived safely and enjoyed a great meal at a restaurant called, Uncle Sam’s, where we all had cheeseburgers and split pieces of pizza. We were in Cameroonian heaven!
On Friday, I received word from home about Mark. To this day I am still in shock. I never imagined my life without him in it. He was always there was a smile, a joke or a willing laugh. I will always regret not being there to see him in the hospital, not being able to say good bye, to be at his funeral and most of all not being able to share the grief with all of his friends and family. I continuously remind myself what a great night I had with him before I left. We had planned just to grab some dinner at the Oyster Bar but in the middle of dinner, he casually mentioned that Kenny Chesney was playing at the Bi-lo Center in downtown Greenville, and that they had dropped the ticket prices dramatically. What did I think? At this point the concert had already begun but he thought we could at least make it before the second act finished. I thought, “What the hell, why not” and off we went. This is just one example of how Mark loved life and was always open to doing something fun whenever the mood struck.
I am thankful for all of the memories that I have had with him over the years including; church, plenty of concerts, the Peach Shed, Lander & Clemson, “the cut”, him being the ring leader in my first and only keg party, mountain weekend in Gatlinburg and so many more. I might have to talk Gage into going with me to retrieve the numerous bulletins that are stuffed in the chairs in the church balcony. Another outstanding memory was when I went with him to his formal in Columbia his junior year of college. After the “fraternity party” part was over we headed down to Three Rivers Festival where Outkast was playing. Mark refused to change out of his tux and told everyone who looked at him funny that we had just gotten married and were leaving for Tahiti in the morning. My cheeks were sore the next morning from smiling and laughing hysterically all night. I want to thank you Mark, for making my life better and richer from just knowing you. I count myself an extremely blessed person to have known you.
The same day that I found out about Mark, I was unlucky enough to get mugged while trying to get back to the case. It really was not a big deal and I want to apologize if I needlessly made anyone worry too much. I headed into Yaoundé on Sunday morning and had all of my papers redone and made it back to post by Thursday. I have since been cleaning my house, which at this point seems impossible. On the other hand I finally am finding my two summers of cleaning beach houses extremely beneficial!
I now find myself at the in between point where I am settling in and figuring my way around this foreign country and town. Before I left the South Carolina, Connie started a journal for me that a lot of people wrote in. Christa Emminger wrote a quote that fits how I feel right now perfectly. For now I will leave you with that, “It’s not so much that we’re afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but that place in between that we fear… It’s like being between trapezes. It’s Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There’s nothing to hold on to”.