August 14, 2009

I haven’t written in a while and it’s because I keep waiting for a good story or something to say that will be interesting but tonight it occurred to me that by doing this I am not being fair to you or myself. If I don’t share with you what I am feeling along with the funny stories, what good am I doing? Stage is winding down and that by no means, means calming down. We, the other trainees and I, find ourselves consistently inundated with meaningless paper work, important ceremonies, final assessments and any other possible thing that has been missed in the past 11 weeks. We have been given instructions for getting to post, which is basically the do’s and do not’s, and what we are responsible for. A lot seems repetitive and the rest seems like common sense but if there is one thing I have learned here, it is that common sense is not a shared quality amongst everyone.
I passed my Independent Exploration Project with flying colors (a 95%) and all fives on my last TDA. It was a relief but I am still behind in French and have not had my final evaluation yet. Out of the 15 SED Trainees, 3 of us have not reached our target language level. In the past two weeks I will have completed close to 60 hours of one on one language training. This is actually a great thing but when you are the sole person receiving all the attention, it can be overwhelming and extremely exhausting. The test, which was supposed to take place on Saturday (tomorrow), has now been moved to Monday. The general opinion seems to be, “great, more time to study”, but for me, I just want it over and done with. It is basically like pulling off a band aid, do you really want to make it last longer than it has to?
I find myself becoming slightly anxious about the fact that I will be here, in Cameroon for 2 years. I already miss my family and friends to a depth I could not have imagined, but have never wanted to complete something more in my life. My reasons for being here are still driving me but they do not make me forget what I am missing at home. For me, please take today to be grateful for what you have. Even if it is as simple as picking up the phone to call a parent to say hello, it is a luxury that I do not have. I miss the most obnoxious things but what I miss the most is communication. Although I am extremely grateful for the level of communication that I have here, it is hard to adjust to not hearing people’s voices regularly. A cold drink and clean feet are very difficult to come by and doing anything quickly is near impossible. I love it here but it has definitely taken some getting used to and I believe that will continue for the next two years!
I would like to add a thank you for the constant thoughts and prayers. I really need them and greatly appreciate them! It means a lot to know you are there thinking of me!